Being a mother is the most beautiful feeling in the world, but is so fucking hard. And everyone tells you that, but no one is talking about the rewards and the growth that you’re experiencing despite the difficult times. Those rewards are making it all worth it.
Today we will summarize a few techniques that will help you remain in a calm state of mind while taking care of your child and that will increase your awareness. Being present is often a challenge when you have many sleepless nights, a long list of chores and you also need to be a chef for your loved ones, planning and preparing three meals per day. And on top of that, you have to find time to play and go to the park, and wait for it… and enjoy it.
Let’s dive in and find a few hacks I found that works in my favor, helping me become a better mum and a better person, without having the need to make everything perfect, cause let’s face it, perfection doesn’t exist and the chase of it will deepen you in a dark and long depression and we don’t need that.
1. Breath deeply
When you feel like the only option is to scream the tension out of you, just pause the noise around you, detach your mind for a moment, retreat within you and just breathe. Sometimes your baby is driving you crazy, we all know it, even if we don’t admit it. Don’t act in the moment, you may emotionally harm your relationship with your child and believe me, you will feel so low. It just takes a few deep breaths, in and out, switching your focus from external to internal, and when you feel ready, going to external again. You will be amazed by the change of perspective and you’ll find a new and creative way of dealing with the present situation.
2. Take a 2 min break
Take a 2 min break in another room if possible – when breathing isn’t enough, you just need to Take some physical distance from your child. I am not a fan of letting my baby to cry, but when I feel like I wanna cry too and there is no one who can help me, I just leave The room for 1 min or 2,or maybe just a few seconds (again, I do not encourage to leave your baby to suffer when he needs you the most) to shutdown and restart. Breathe and shake your body and return to him. You will find the energy to be there for him and the calm to comfort him.
3. See the smaller picture
Focus your attention from the chaos in your house to your child’s face and look him in the eye with all the love in the world, you won’t need anything else. Try to forget everything, stop thinking and just be grateful for having such a beautiful being, your creation, in front of you. Melt into the deep sea of his eyes. And smile. The entire fog you felt a few seconds ago will disappear and instead you’ll feel alive and present.
4. Leave everything and get out
Forget anything else, take a snack and take your baby outside as fast as you can. Yep, just like that. Leave your dishes, laundry, the undone bed, the shower that you crave for (if you find the time to take a shower will definitely help with the mood – water has this power), and get out. Take something to snack for you and for the baby and go, don’t overthink it. Listen to the birds, embrace nature, observe the people on the street and smile.
5. Hug your baby
Hug him with all the love you have for him. Close your eyes and smell his hair. Forget everything. Just be. You will feel loved and secure. Imagine that you’ll never have to feel alone, because your baby brought noise and color to your life. All the things that you’re worrying about right now, does it really matter? Look at it this way, if it won’t matter in five years, then it doesn’t matter at all.
6. Embrace the sleepless nights
There will come a time when he will sleep all night, but he won’t longer ask to kiss and hug. He won’t ask you to take him in your arms and walk him all day (or night) long. He will run, speak and know all, and more. He will be smarter than you. You’ll miss and crave these baby moments more than anything else, so make the fun out of it and enjoy it. It won’t last forever. And also, there’s always coffee to help.
7. Play with your baby, like a baby
Abandon all the chores you’re doing, sit on the floor next to him and play with your baby – sometimes he just needs your attention. Maybe he’ll play by himself, but needs to feel his mama around. Give him paper and some crayons, and meanwhile I like to relax by his side with one of his coloring books. Ups!
8. Dirty dancing time
You feel down?! Play some happy music and dance with your baby, in front of your baby, around your baby, just dance. Sometimes I do some fast push ups, burpees, jumping jacks, and it becomes so amusing for him that I immediately start to laugh and it challenges me to do more, so I make him my training partner. Best workouts ever!
9. Love, hold my baby!
When you have a hard time, day or week, pass him to his father for an hour and take a bath, do some yoga or meditate. It’s better if they go out, somewhere you couldn’t hear them and make this hour yours. Take care of your mind and body. Water has the power to wash bad energies. Do some stretching and clean your mind of all unnecessary thoughts and struggle. You will welcome your boys fresh and energized.
10. Bath time
When nothing seems to change my baby’s mood, I have two options: first is to take him out, but if this isn’t an option, bath time will be my second secret weapon. Feel his bath tub with warm water, make some soap bubbles, throw in some toys and don’t forget to throw in the baby. You can make yourself a delicious coffee or tea to enjoy on the toilet seat, next to him. You have a half an hour to relax and boost yourself. Many times he will completely change his mood after the bath, but if you’re not that lucky, at least you’ll have that half an hour on the toilet seat with your hot coffee.
From my experience
My first months as a mother I spent all my time questioning everything I did, being anxious and crying about not being a good mother. With time I found that the biggest secret of being a mum is not being informed, even this is an important aspect, but just relax and listen to your instinct. Of course, your instinct will work better if you’re informed, so don’t underestimate its importance.
